I Won't Fear Love
by serial-charmer
Summary: RoLo: A somewhat growing series about Storm, Wolverine, and their kids. Enjoy!
1. I Won't Fear Love

**I Won't Fear Love**

_**Warnings:** Ummmm. This should be okay. Language is it, really._

_**Disclaimer:** Ha. I wish…_

_**Author's note:** This is the first fic in a series about RoLo and their kid(s? I haven't decided yet…). I wrote _Gracie Girl_ first, and all these other ideas spun off of it, but this one's technically the first chapter. From here on out, I'll (probably) write these in order. Again, I make no promises…Most of them will be songfics, mainly because I keep hearing songs and getting inspired. That said, this chapter is not a songfic. I got this idea without any songs and I really don't think I should set out trying to find a song to match the fic… So anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it!_

**Mid October…**

"PURPLE?" Ororo leapt from her seat on the end of the bed. She quickly crossed the room to where Jean stood in the bathroom doorway and grabbed the white stick out of her hand. Squinting her eyes, she took a closer look at the blotch of color on the end.

"What is purple supposed to tell me?"

Jean picked up the box sitting on the back of the toilet and read the back. "Red is positive. Blue is negative. Purple is…is…"

"Bullshit! Purple is bullshit!"

Jean backed away from her best friend slightly, taken aback by the sudden outburst. Apparently Logan had taught her a thing or two. "Ororo—"

"Why would you get such a stupid test, Jean?" She paced back and forth between the bed and the bathroom. "Don't they have ones that say 'yes' or 'no'?"

At that, Jean bit her bottom lip and looked to the ground.

Ororo was in front of her in a heartbeat. "What? What is it? Why so squeamish?"

Jean mumbled something inaudibly.

"What? Jean, speak up."

"I didn't get it. Scott did." She braced herself for Ororo to lash out in surprise.

"You told SCOTT?"

"He was running errands! It saved me a trip!"

Feeling out of breath, Ororo finally returned to her spot on the bed, allowing the momentum to pull her down.

Taking this as a sign, Jean left the bathroom and moved closer to where Ororo laid spread eagle, staring up at the ceiling. "If it helps, he thinks it's for me…"

Ororo turned her head, giving Jean a questioning look.

Jean glared at the presumption. "I'm not."

When Ororo returned her gaze to the ceiling, Jean moved to lie next to her in the same fashion.

"So…Purple…" was all she said before the pop of an opening beer stopped her.

Logan tossed the cap into the nearby trashcan and took a swig. "What're y'guys doin'?"

"Just thinking," Jean replied nonchalantly. Ororo was silent, lost in fascination of the ceiling.

"'Ro, ya all right?"

"Oh yes, quite all right," Ororo mumble flatly.

Logan raised one black eyebrow briefly before setting his bottle on the end table and making his way to the bathroom, leaving the door open a crack.

When the sound of liquid hitting liquid reached the bedroom, Jean flushed and sat up, her back to the bathroom. "Logan, that's foul!"

He didn't respond. Jean frowned, looking over her shoulder slightly. "Logan?"

"What's this?" There was a slight shake in his voice.

Jean stood. "What's what?"

As Jean made her way to the bathroom, Ororo's half shut eyes popped wide open. _Oh, goddess._

She sprang into motion, beating Jean to where Logan stood holding the pregnancy test. Snatching it out of his hands, Ororo caught a glance down. _Red red red._

"Red." Her voice caught in her throat. "Jean, it's red."

Logan was visibly shaken. "Wh-what's that mean?"

"Oh, 'Roro…" Jean smiled broadly.

Louder this time, "What's that MEAN?"

"It means Jean's having a baby!" Ororo blurted out.

"What!" both Jean and Logan exclaimed. A sharp pang of relief coursed through Logan's body. Was relief supposed to be a sharp pang? Plastering on a grin for Jean, Logan hugged her tightly.

"Jeannie, that's great."

Glaring at Ororo over Logan's shoulder, Jean made several frantic facial expressions and yelled at her in her mind. _What!_

Ororo pleaded with her eyes and her mind. _Please, Jean! I don't want him to find out this way!_

Jean rolled her eyes and returned Logan's hug. "Uh, yeah. It's fantastic. Can't wait." She pulled away from him. "Well, I should really be going. I've got lots of plans. You know. Baby plans." Jean mumbled uncomfortably before backing out of the room and closing the door forcefully behind her.

Walking down the hall way, she shot back at Ororo, _You owe me BIG._

_Thank you so much Jean. _Ororo smiled, unwittingly placing her hand on her flat abdomen. She stood that way for a moment, before Logan kissed her briefly and made his way to the edge of the bed.

He laughed quietly. "Poor Scooter."

"What?"

Logan kicked off his boots and bent down to pull his socks off. "Guys gonna be someone's old man in nine months."

Ororo's eyebrows furrowed. "And that's a bad thing?"

Logan looked up at Ororo, questioning her with his eyes. There was something different about her. Shaking it off, he stood and moved to the dresser, pulled off his white, dust-covered tank top and threw it in the nearby hamper. "Not out an' out bad. Just soon." He grabbed a black t-shirt from the second drawer and yanked it on over his head. "Don't y'think?"

Ororo crossed her arms over her chest. "No, I don't think. Logan, they've been married for nearly two years."

Again, Logan's eyes met Ororo's. He saw no anger in them, only…hurt? Why hurt? He moved quickly to stand in front of her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her tightly. Her arms still crossed between them, she leaned into him.

"Hey, c'mon." He buried his face in her hair and rubbed her back gently. "I'm happy fer 'em. Really. Just glad it ain't me, y'know?"

Fear gripped her heart. "Don't you want children?"

His own heart pounded at the thought of having kids with her. "Nah, children ain't fer us." He bent his head, leaving a trail of kisses from her ear to the crook of her neck, and nuzzled her gently. "I think we make out fine – just the two of us. Why'd I wanna go an' ruin it by havin' a buncha brats runnin' 'round here all the time?"

With that, she pushed off of him abruptly. "'A bunch of brats?' Is that what children are to you Logan?"

She sounded livid, yet he could smell the fear rolling off of her. Not fear of him, but of something else. Frowning with confusion, Logan stepped forward with his arms outstretched. "What's wrong with y'today? Yer actin' moody. Yer time o' the month or somethin'?" The second the words left his mouth, he wished he could take them back. No man had ever uttered words such as those and survived to tell the story.

To his surprise, instead of lashing out at him, she merely let out a loud sob. "Oh, Logan!" she forced out before running from the room.

Logan stood alone, glancing around the room and replaying the events of the past fifteen minutes. _The hell?

* * *

_

Jean threw her arms up as she collapsed onto the couch in the rec. room. "Scott, for the last time, I. AM. NOT. PREGNANT."

Scott sat in the adjacent chair, his face devoid of all color. "Y-y-you're not pregnant. Tha-that's…that's good. Good. Not…not having a-a baby. Not."

Jean frowned. "So what if I were?"

His head snapped to face her. "But you're not, right?"

Without moving so much as a finger, Jean telekinetically flung a pillow at Scott's head.

She jumped when a crack of thunder rattled the windows and a flash of lightening briefly illuminated the mansion.

Scott looked at his wife with a worried expression. "What's wrong with her?"

Jean mumbled "I'm not sure" before getting up to look for Storm.

* * *

Outside, the air was peaceful. A slight breeze rustled what leaves were still left on the trees. Only the uppermost curve of the sun could be seen on the horizon.

She sat less than fifty yards from the mansion, her feet having given way underneath her. Propping herself up with her arms, she fought desperately for control over her shaking body. She jumped at the sound of Jean's voice behind her.

"I was expecting a tempest."

Focusing her attention on the grass in front of her, Ororo replied, "Sorry to disappoint." After a long pause she added, "I didn't want to hurt the baby."

Jean moved slowly and sat down, scooting close to her best friend. "What'd he say?"

"I haven't told him yet."

Jean's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Then what happened?"

Ororo struggled to maintain a level tone. "He doesn't want children." Her face contorted slightly to hold back the tears.

"Oh sweetie…" Jean wrapped her arm around Ororo, pulling her close as if granting her permission to let go.

Accepting the invitation, Ororo let the tears fall, her voice cracking as she repeated, "He doesn't want children."

"Did he actually say that?" Jean questioned, unable to believe it.

"Yes. Oh, he still thinks you're pregnant. He says…says he feels sorry for Scott – that children aren't for us." Another sob followed by even more tears. "He doesn't want little brats running around!"

"He couldn't have meant that."

With that, Ororo pulled away to look at Jean. "You weren't there! You didn't see the look in his eyes. He meant it."

"Maybe…maybe you just misunderstood him?"

Ororo gave Jean a pathetic smile that didn't quite reach her tear-rimmed eyes before standing up. Looking down at her, she said simply, "You can't fix this Jean. You can't make everything okay." With that, she walked back toward the mansion, leaving Jean sitting alone in the yard.

* * *

**A few days later…**

"You do too want children!"

Logan looked over his newspaper from his seat at the kitchen table. His lip quirked up into a half-smile. "Mornin', Jeannie."

Jean crossed the room quickly to stand over him, her hands on her hips. "Don't 'mornin' Jeannie' me! Why'd you tell her you don't want kids?"

Logan's steel eyes narrowed before he returned their gaze to his newspaper. "Y'don't know what yer talkin' 'bout."

"I'm talking about my best friend!"

He threw his paper down on the chair next to him. "Then maybe you know what's up with her?"

Jean shifted uncomfortably, her arms moving up to embrace herself. "What are you talking about?"

"The past few days, I can't even get near her without her startin' t'cry all over again."

Without answering, Jean sat in the chair across the table from him. They sat in silence, his glare fixed on her while her green eyes shifted around the room.

Surprisingly, he was the one to break the silence. "'Course I want kids."

This caught Jean's attention. "Then why would you tell her you didn't?"

"Y'didn't see her the other day, when she found out you were havin' a baby. She wasn't happy like she shoulda been. She was hurtin'."

Jean arched a red eyebrow at Logan.

"She wants a kid so bad, I don't want her feelin' like she's lettin' me down on top o' that."

Jean stared at him for a moment, confusion written all over her face. Finally, "What are you TALKING about?"

"'Bout her not bein' able t'have kids!"

Jean nearly choked in a vain attempt to hold back a laugh. "Did she tell you that?"

Logan frowned, his turn to feel uncomfortable. "No. One-eye mentioned it a while back…"

"Scott? Scott told you she couldn't have kids?"

"Yeah. Years ago. 'Fore y'guys were married even."

Standing, Jean replied, "Well, Scott's an idiot." Opening a cabinet, she took out a glass and moved to the fridge. After pouring herself a glass of orange juice, she returned to the table. Forcing herself to make eye contact, she informed Logan, "She doesn't just want children. She wants _your_ children. Lots of them. A hundred little you's and her's running around everywhere."

Logan's heart pounded at the thought. A son with his temper. A little girl with her eyes and her smile. Their first steps, first words, first day of school, dates, college, marriage. His mind was spinning at the idea while a grin spread across his face. Then, another thought popped into his head, forcing his mouth to contort back into a frown.

"What a jackass."

"Thanks to my dear husband, you had no idea."

"I can't get close t'her just t'talk."

A slow smile spread across Jean's face. "I have an idea…"

* * *

**Another couple days later…**

Ororo Munroe took the stairs up to her loft slowly, her arms hanging listlessly at her sides.

She was supposed to be happy. She had everything she'd ever asked for. She had Logan. Her best friend, lover, husband. Her other half.

And now she was carrying his child. A miniature Logan growing slowly in her womb.

A child he never asked for. A child he never wanted.

Ororo gripped the banister and clamped her jaw tightly to keep from crying. She was sick of crying. She'd be crying for nearly a week straight.

She was supposed to be happy.

* * *

Logan stood, awkwardly shifting his weight from one leg to the other. His heart pounded furiously as the doorknob turned as if in slow motion.

* * *

She opened the door, expecting to find the usual calmness of the ivory room she shared with Logan. Her breath caught in her chest as she took in the site around her.

What looked like a thousand candles cast an amber glow on the room, their shadows dancing playfully on the walls.

The petals of yellow carnations – her favorite – were scattered across the floor. Wild flowers in a dozen crystal vases decorated the various pieces of furniture.

She barely heard the whisper of music playing softly in the background before her eyes finally fell on the man standing in the center of the room.

"Hey, darlin'…" was all he said.

Ororo bit her lip to hold back the tears. "Hi," she whispered shyly, knowing he could hear her.

They stood that way for a while – him grinning sheepishly, her fighting back her emotions.

_All the fear has left me now  
I'm not frightened anymore  
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh  
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath_

Finally, she took one step closer to him. "Oh, Logan—"

"Ororo," he cut her off, taking several steps to envelope her in his thick arms. He pulled her tightly to him, nearly crushing her against his chest. He pressed his rough cheek to her smooth one, closing his eyes tightly as he whispered into her ear. "I never knew. I swear I thought…I thought I was sayin' what y'wanted, darlin'. I never..." his voice caught in his throat.

Ororo moved her arms to wrap them tightly around his neck while she buried her face in his shoulder. "Don't stop Logan. I need you. I need to hear you say it."

_  
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it  
I won't fear love_

"I thought you couldn't. I didn't wanna hope ya could. Didn't want ya t'think ya'd let me down somehow. I got it in my head that if you thought I didn't want kids, ya wouldn't hurt so much."

_  
Companion to our demons  
They will dance, and we will play  
With chairs, candles, and cloth  
Making darkness in the day  
It will be easy to look in or out  
Upstream or down without a thought_

She buried herself deeper, all but melding their bodies into one. She could feel him tremble and her own body shuddered in response. She knew it would be okay. They would be okay. Her family. He just had to say it. "Logan," she whispered again.

_  
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it  
I won't fear love_

Logan graced her back with one of his strong hands, bringing it to rest on the curve of her head. He inhaled deeply, breathing in her scent. "I need you and the baby, Ororo. I want the baby. I need her. More than anything else in the world."

Ororo turned, pressing her forehead to his, each holding the other's deep stare.

He leaned forward, crushing his mouth over hers. Her lips parted and their tongues immediately met in an age-old struggle.

Her lips moved gracefully against his as she whispered "I love you." She moved her hands to the back of his head and pulled him deeper into the kiss, each ignoring the saline as it slid down their cheeks and into their joined mouths.

_Peace in the struggle to find peace  
comfort on the way to comfort  
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it_

Pulling apart, his eyes locked with hers as he fell to his knees in front of her. His broad hands slid along the side of her body, stopping at her waste. Pushing them up again, he lifted her shirt just enough to reveal her still flat stomach. "She'll be beautiful," was all he said before wrapping his arms around Ororo's waist and pressing his face to her abdomen.

She let her hands fall to his unruly black hair. "She?"

Ororo felt him smile against her. "Yeah. My little girl…"

I won't fear love  
I won't fear love  
I won't fear love.

_**Author's Note:** Well, whatdya know? It turns into a semi-song fic there at the end. The song's _I Won't Fear Love_ by Sarah McLachlan._


	2. Innamorata

**Innamorata**

_**Disclaimer:** Give me a few more years…_

_**Warnings: **Um. None? I'm pretty sure an eight year old could safely read this. Might be confused…but not scarred. Oh well okay. The f word once._

_**Author's Note: **Quick word about the title: whenever I can't come up with something, I always resort to another language. Innamorata in-AH-more-ata means 'sweeheart.' It fits well enough. Anyway. I thought about adding some description to make the chapter longer, but I (with the help of a certain Windrider…) came to the decision that filler-writing sucks. Not to mention more description might come across as awkward here. Well, whatever. It is what it is. And I hope you like what it is.

* * *

_

"I take it the name Logan's out."

"Way out."

His mouth turned downward in a mock frown. "What? Ya don't like my name?"

"Oh, shut up."

Logan's hand traveled from Ororo's swollen belly to the inside of her thigh. "Ya seemed t'like it just fine last night, darlin'."

"Which is exactly why we aren't naming our child Logan."

He grinned, his hand returning to her stomach. Closing his eyes to think, his fingers tapped a steady beat.

"Logan, could you stop that, please?"

"What?"

"That tapping. Could you stop?"

The corner of his mouth quirked up in a sloppy half-smile. "Sorry."

After a few moments, he ventured another suggestion. "Rebecca?"

"Then we'd have to call her Becky."

"Kid don't really strike me as a Becky."

"So Rebecca's out."

"Guess so. Stephanie?"

"Doesn't that sound like a soap-opera name?"

"Huh?"

"It's like when a soap opera finally realizes its characters have outrageous names and they try to compensate. So you might have Gemstone, Moonstar, and Stephanie."

"Um…"

"No Stephanie."

A sudden force beneath Logan's hand caused him to jerk back in surprise.

"What the fuck was that!" he shouted from his now upright position.

Ororo caressed her own stomach, smiling slightly. "Logan, your language."

He repeated himself, quieter this time. "What was that? Did it hurt? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It was just the baby kicking."

"Kickin'? Darlin', that was more'n a kick."

Her glittering blue eyes met his and she smiled sweetly. "I wonder where our baby could have developed such a temper."

"Beats me." Logan returned to his position next to Ororo, his hand resting on her protectively.

Several minutes passed before Logan tried yet another suggestion.

"Claire?" He drummed his fingers on her belly.

Ororo moved her hand over his to still them. "Sounds too much like Clarice."

"So?"

She contorted her face and threw out her best Hannibal Lecter impression. "Yes or no, Clarice?"

Logan gave her a sidelong glance. "No. Definitely, no." He paused. "Ellen?"

"No."

"Olivia?"

"Meh."

"Meh?"

"Meh." She repeated.

"Bambi?" He joked.

She snorted.

He smiled.

A late summer's breeze flowed through the window, carrying a few strands of Ororo's hair to tickle Logan's chest.

After a few minutes, he spoke again.

"Barbara?"

"Too old."

"Hnh."

"Logan, you're doing it again."

"Sorry, darlin'." He spread his fingers out, laying his hand flat against her.

Silence.

"Emma?"

Ororo sat up at this, her hand holding the sheets to cover her naked body. She was certainly not rewarding that suggestion. "Are you kidding me, Logan?"

He shrugged. "What?"

"Emma!"

He chuckled when he realized the allusion. "Guess not."

"Most certainly not," Ororo responded as she lied back down, snuggling against the length of his body.

More silence.

"Akili?"

"Too…Greek hero." She glanced at him. "Where'd you come up with that one?"

"It's Tanzanian."

Her eyes narrowed. "Have you been researching baby names, Logan?"

He squirmed slightly. "I found a site."

"Dork."

His steel eyes flashed in a mocking glare. "You wanna say that again?"

Ororo grinned, tilting her head just enough to whisper in his ear, "You heard me the first time."

Logan growled slightly as he turned Ororo over in his arms, pinning her back to the bed. His mouth immediately clasped over her collar bone as his head sought refuge in the crook of her neck. He barely had time to savor the taste of her skin before another idea struck him.

He popped his head up to ask her, "How 'bout Elizabeth?"

With a slight roll of her eyes, Ororo shoved him off of her, "Do you want her to have purple hair?"

"Fine. You suggest somthin'."

"Samuel?"

"We're havin' a girl. I told ya."

"You never know –"

"I know, darlin'."

"Well, then how about Samantha?"

"Too much like Samuel."

"Yes, Logan. That was the point."

"Nah. It ain't fer her."

"Hannah?"

He grunted at the suggestion.

"Sophia?"

Another grunt.

"Emily?"

Grunt.

"Danielle?"

Grunt.

"Logan!"

"Grace."

"What?"

Logan's hand moved gently over her belly. He turned to look at her and his eyes lit up, his features almost childlike. "Grace Howlett."

The corners of her mouth lifted slowly as she thought the name over. Her gaze shifted to her and Logan's entwined fingers resting on the swell of her abdomen. "You like that, Gracie?"

* * *

_**Another Author's Note:** Just wanted to say thanks to Windrider! Thanks for the help, darlin'. :tips hat: hehe_


End file.
